The buckets

Life's too short. Way too short.

By the time we begin to make sense out of what we speak we've already wasted half a decade. By the time we get to grips about feeling hurt and pain that others caused we've already quarter-or-so of a decades old. By the time we found out why are we breathing the same air every day we might already be halfway through our journey in life. So what does the other half of the journey means to you, and me?

I don't know.

I'm still getting to grips of my existence here. Why things happens as they are. Why someone enters your life at a certain stage and why you'll never hear from him or her again or why they left us to a better place. Is there a connection between every event in life?

I think so. The dots are too vague but they somehow would make sense. And when they do, you take it and do something about it.

Is your bucket full or half full?

PS: I'm glad the girlfriend is one of those dots, and a big and clear dot she is. She may not know this nor will she agree, but she inspires and challenges the way I think.

感言 (Thoughts)

我努力的生活，是因为我看不见未来。

I know nothing about the future, therefore I live.

H4th,H27th

ysg,

Glad we made it this far, and still going.

Though I wished for some things, things like how we can be openly “us”, how we can call ourselves “baby” openly, how we can hold hands anytime, how we can push our lips together without looking around, how we can love without fear.

But I know I can be patient and persevere, and that these things will come one day. So for now I’m glad we can be just us between us – you and me, and happiness.

lywamh

ysb.

It’s the first again!

I love you, girlfriend!

I know it’s been a hectic month with bad work, bad health, and all that in between. Though I wished more, I’m just thankful of every second we get to be together. At least, we are able to do this everyday.

Keep on smiling baby, I know I do.

tyblyftbomyh!

You’re not here…

 

當世界只剩下這床頭燈　When all left in the world is this bedside lamp
你那邊是早晨已經出門 Where you are, it’s already morning
我側身感到你在轉身 I felt your presence and turned around
無數陌生人 正在等下一個綠燈 Seeing strangers, waiting for the next green light

IMYB…

13 hours and 6557 miles apart

The baby has gone to London to start off her Europe trip, and last I checked, she’s all giddy about the cheap grocery there. Too bad I’m gonna be stuck here for the time being. I know how much you wished I was there. Trust me, there’s no where else I’d wanna be apart from being with you ;)

Have fun, and happy grocery shopping!

Love’s Beautiful

我失去过 更珍惜拥有

I lost too, so I cherish

疼你的责任, the responsibility of loving you

每次你任性時說的一些話 Every time when you’re wilful you said things
你知道那有多傷人嗎 Do you know how much they hurts
但我頂多只氣個三分鐘吧 But my insult would only last three minutes at most
最後依然體貼的送你回家 In the end I’ll always be sending you home
＊有時想如果我不是一直讓 Sometimes I wonder if I don’t always give in
你也許會懂得學著體諒 Will you learn to be sympathetic?
但是我完全無法硬著心腸 But I couldn’t bear in my heart
做得讓你有一點難過失望 To disappoint you at all
＃總覺得有疼你的責任 I feel a responsibility to love you
要你是最快樂最單純的人 To make you the happiest and simplest person
因為你讓我的心變得豐盛 Because you filled my heart with richness
原來不奢望的變成可能 Make the unthinkable come true
總覺得有疼你的責任 I feel a responsibility to love you
讓你做最輕鬆最自然的人 To make you the most relaxed and natural person
我想不遮掩也是一種信任 I think to not conceal is also a responsibility
愛的瞭解包容才算愛得完整 Love is complete when there’s understanding and tolerance

A simple song

[yi shou jian dan de ge, from 心中的日月 (2004)]

There’s no mistake that Jay Chou and Wang Leehom are two of the best when it comes to lush, mellow, emo-ey Mandarin songs. Leehom’s 2004 release Shangri-La was IMO his best album to date. I was pretty hooked up on this album so much that I actually went to his autograph session and later his concert.

Of all the songs in this album, “一首简单的歌”was prolly my favorite piece. I was instantly hooked up with the opening lyrics, and then the strings, and then when the drum comes in, it’s bliss (drummer was Lewis Pragasam, btw). The whole song was just so simple, yet profound. Of course, now that the lyrics has a whole different meaning to my life, it’s even sweeter, and I’m glad someone out there likes it too :)

Dear Baby (ykwya)

Someone once told me: “life is like jumping down a cliff and building your wings along the way”

I guess love is too.

I might not have everything, I might not know anything, I might have the smallest car, the smallest room, I might not be able to constantly pamper you with stuff, I might be a little too boring, and I might be silly, but I believe in love, and you.

And so I just had to tell you that I’m into you. The feeling is here, and it can’t wait. It’s a chance I was willing to take. I can make it happen, and we can make it happen.

I am your pig, you are my wings. Love your siew mai smile, always.

ykwya :)

Today methinks

Had to start planning for my personal photography folio. Take the game to the next level. So methinks that I’ll start with still life subjects, as this is what I wanted to build my future career with, and its a great subject to study lighting and composition (in that order). Stay tuned.

Jakarta

I've been rarely making photos these days. Could be the weather, the lack of good location or simply I'm turning lazy.

A few weeks ago I was at Jakarta for a studio shoot. The schedule was tight, so I didn't have much thought for anything else. Suffice to say that Jakarta is a strange city. This is not a city for the feeble minded; even the most adventurous will find it a little daunting. Not a nice place for a regular trip, but once you soak yourself in its air of pollution, poverty, and chaos, you'll catch a glimpse of its magical blend of mysticism and aura.

The shot above was one of the few I manage to make. This is the lobby area of Hotel Alila. A safe haven separated from the unknown devouring depths of the city just outside.

A Statement of Intent

Lay the ghost

It's almost a year since I traveled to China. Shanghai, and the Yangtze still lingers. Few days ago I looked through the images and picked some 36 frames which I felt strongly conveyed what I've experienced during my stay. I'll be back there some time in the future. Wishfully.

More at http://bit.ly/aCxmvr

At the other end

How do you approach someone when he or she is already within your reach, but you’ve procrastinated too long with the process? That you thought you need time to observe and understand more? Do you really need to do all that?

Of empty rooms and sorts

Sorry, no pictures this time.

Just finished moving all the stuff out of my SS2 room. I feels kinda sad tho. I’m not that fond of being a nomad. There’s always this feeling of connecting with the places I’ve stayed.

Maybe that’s why I took a hell lot of bleeding (pocket-wise) prepping the new place. I hope it works.

Giddy for a tiger year?

It’s three weeks to Lunar New Year and everyone in the studio is working like a dog tiger!

I salute the men and women who are “battling with the tigers” in the studio even as I wrote.

Timed out at Golden Sands Resort, working

Lobby, Golden Sands Resort, Penang, originally uploaded by onejassed.

It’s all job job job for the past few days!

Just finished a shoot last weekend at Golden Sands Resort Penang. Had a pleasant shoot and stay. I’d recommend this resort for any family out there wanting to splurge and swim. Loved the ambient. Too bad all the images I captured was somehow corrupted, so the above shot is one in a million!

On another note, it’s another year older for me. Haven’t had any plans or crazy wishes yet.

My 2009, in pictures

It came slowly, then suddenly 2009 gained so much momentum that I sometimes find it hard to follow. Had a great year actually. Although there was the bit of gloom, grief, and anguish. Here’s the monthly highlights for the past year, the rest as they say, is history.

Winning the Festival Filem dan Video Pelajar Malaysia 2009 was sweet. My uni had a good sweep of the main prizes, one of which is the Best Film won by Gareth Chin’s Rewind. I was DOP of the production (which I still think shoulda get nominated for Best Cinematography HAHA).

Then there was the travel to China in February. Of all places, I still miss Shanghai. Maybe I still haven’t had enough of this city. It’s a place of imperfections and beauty, fast and slow, gentle yet full of energy. Words cant describe.

Back in Malaysia was a bit depressing. Knowing that the China trip could be much better (photographically), and knowing that you don’t have a job and you need money for everything.

So off you go again, to travel! A short trip to Singapore on April was a bit of a refresher. Probably because we had the best lycheetinis, steaks, and burgers in our lives! I love cities, as much as I love the non-cities. It lives and breathes in cold glass and concrete.

May is full of contradictions. Questions of choice and direction came and go, and came, and go. Had to find work, but had to think of what I’m going to be.

And so I did - a photography assistant spot at probably the busiest commercial photography studio in the whole damn country.

Busy to the point that I find it hard to spend time for anything else (photography included). But then,

it wasn’t that bad of a vocation. My work takes me to places and situations that I never been before. It’s tough and demanding. I repeat that sentence again – tough and demanding.

Wish life was simpler?

No way. But again, if you look beyond the complexities and juxtapositions, simplicity is all right over there. Hopefully that’s what I’m trying to.

It’s not like I dumped everything else aside and immersed myself in working hell. There’s still those time-outs with friends and (the very occasional) family. A couple of trips with colleagues and new-found friends in November was fun (at the cost of simmering heat and drenching rain).

And so, 2009 came and go. At the end, a lot of stuff went off with the year. But thanks for all the memories – bitter, sweet, and everything in between.

Here’s a toast to the new decade!

CHEERS!